​Building a Successful Life after Coming Out

So you have come out to your wife.  Maybe you have come out to your children and a few friends and family.  What do you do next?  How do you build a successful new life?

The topic for this meeting was:  Building a Successful Life after Coming Out

​Here are some of the topics we discussed:

• Once you have come out to your spouse, then what? 
• If you have chosen to say married, how do you balance your marriage and your attraction to men?
• Are their new rules in your marriage now that your wife knows your gay or bisexual?  Wives often set down rules or limits to what they want their husband to do after a husband comes out.
• How do you integrate your married life with your life as a gay or bisexual man?
• Can you balance loving your wife and having a boyfriend too?
• How do I build community with other gay and bisexual men?
• Is sex with men the main thing or is there something larger to focus on?
• Is coming out to your wife just the first step?  Do you want to come out more broadly with family and friends?  Do you want to come out at work?  Would you like to be involved in the LGBT community and find ways to give back?
• What are your goals in developing your new life?
• How do you build a new community? 
• Do old negative tapes still play in your head about being gay which gets in your way of moving forward?  What can you do to overcome years of hiding and being in the closet?
• What are the excuses you tell yourself that prevents you from moving forward?